AmpBenzScientist @AmpBenzScientist@social.cleverlibre.org

@thor So were you treated differently from the other children and held to a higher standard because of how you performed on certain tests?

If you were, that sounds like my experience in school. It taught me that I should aim to know the answers so I could get some wrong and blend in more with my peers. The accelerated programs made me learn to blend in and try to conceal what I could do. I still do things to prove to myself that I can do stuff but I self sabotage or quit before it would make me stand out.

So the educational system refused to acknowledge ADHD when I was in school and I would spend a large portion of my time being punished for being myself. So I would spend around a month or two in the isolated rooms that the average student would get a day or two in for getting into a fight. I actually gained a better reputation in that environment to the extent that I would be left in charge if the teacher had to go do something else.

So I got taught early to not stand out because it would result in harsh punishments for even hyperactivity. Most of the people I met in the isolated rooms either came from a rough environment, had an anxiety disorder or ADHD. I can't say that any of us were actually bad kids but we were called bad and frequently had to deal with criticism and the police.

It wasn't until I went to a Military College that I would start to excel and graduate at the top of my field. Despite the strict and unforgiving nature of Military Discipline, they were the most supportive and influential people in my education. It actually gave me hope.

So in summary, I tend to do the same thing with my personal projects. I don't know if it's for the same reasons that you do it. It seems like we were both overly punished for being different and perhaps how we developed was a self defense mechanism against the environment. Sometimes I try to break out of it and have the bad (or good) luck of outclassing or impressing the person I work with or for. It has resulted in friendships but also getting into heated fights with people who don't show respect.

Mr. Lee was the best mentor and friend that I met. A humble man that is far more influential than the belligerent individuals that seem to work their way into a position of power. I've seen people insult him and he remains composed and peaceful even though he could point to a list of accomplishments or best them in a challenge. A leader who not only powers through to cooperation with people who might not know his magnitude but a friend to those just starting out on their journey.

I've seen some of your old work and I was impressed. You still have passion about what you do and it's okay if you don't finish every project. It's still experience and you're keeping your skills sharp. I have faith in you but I don't think you see yourself correctly. You've been making improvements over time and in the time I've followed you, you went from seeming burned out to burning the midnight oil. So keep up the good work and be patient with yourself.

@lupyuen I've heard that the newer Gowin FPGAs aren't friendly to work with. It's the company that makes the synthesis tools that seems to be the problem.

I suppose that if open source tools are made, it will be worth the trouble. The Gowin FPGAs are pretty cool and rather capable considering the cost. With all things being taken into consideration, it's one of the few options besides Lattice that is friendly to people on a budget. It's also unlikely that they would threaten makers like AMD has in the past.

Another point to note is the certifications that Gowin FPGAs usually have. With the 20k FPGA it was rather robust and rated for industrial and automotive use. So yes it is cool and inexpensive but will be a headache but less than having to deal with Intel or AMD.

@thor You made a synthesizer despite having to deal with a DSP. You do work hard but seem to favor intelligent solutions instead of tedious work that seems mind numbing. I could see you being a great member of a team. Perhaps you are like the stone that the builder refused.

So a dense but hard worker could be a useful teammate if there's mutual respect for what the other person does. It takes many different types of people to make a great team. Bill Gates and Steve Balmer are a good example and so are Woz and Jobs. Even as two different companies they did great things together.

An example of a bad relationship would be Microsoft and the short sighted leadership at IBM. It's not that either party lacked talent or hard workers, IBM was just intolerant and egotistical.

I hope this is helpful in some way.

@thor It sounds like a common server could help. I'd be willing to help with what I can.

Maybe it's worth a quick conversation to fulfill the obligation and then a later conversation about how to improve future collaboration.

@Draven That's still better than those dumb side post batteries that GM used. I guess a Millennial has better wiring than a GM product. Maybe there's hope for my generation.

@freemo Like an Apple user?

@freemo I think Altruism is action whereas the other one is perhaps a similar idea. It's like theoretical vs applied.

Maybe they are both the same and different. You might be correct and on to something deeper.

@thor I'm annoying, have anxiety disorders and crave approval but forget that I often have problems with authority figures.

Maybe I have redeeming features but sometimes I feel like I am the problem and that the world would be better without me. Rationally I will admit that I am not important enough to actually make a difference either way.

I also collect padlocks.