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- I will come down YOUR chimney and stuff your stocking. Love ya too, Mastodonians. - Deadpool

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Hey Vern! I would have helped you put your lights up but I got tangled up in mine first. Have a cool Yule anyway, ole buddy.

--Ernest P. Worrell

Dear Friends,

I hope you are well. The last 9+ years have been difficult. For that reason, I have set up a GoFundMe account so that I do not run out of porridge. I used my best manners, "Please Sir, may I have some more" and I was kicked out into the street.

Sincerely,

Oliver

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Thank you for your devoted and loyal patronage.

- Acme Company

Caution: Handle with care.

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If Xmas wishes were unnamed horses, beggars would ride through the desert

-Sister Golden Hair-- Surprise!

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May this Yuletide bring you smooth sailing on the Seven Seas!

Captain & Crew of the SS Poseidon

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May your days be pain free and your teeth be Pearly White

- Hermie the Dentist

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Hello! When you finish reading this card there will be a statue of an angel appearing at your window. Don't blink--put the card down and step over to your closet without taking your eyes off the angel. Your closet will take you to my TARDIS. See you in a few.

--The Doctor

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