Crigl @Crigl@social.cleverlibre.org

omg i found the clock kink reddit thread again

Why is Jim Carrey doing ahegao in the poster for A Christmas Carol?

hang on dude, if we're gonna discuss this drug deal i gotta flip my Signal theme over to Dark Mode

mastodon is like Sesame street where a muppet announces the word of the day and the whole town loses their shit over it

me and the boys stood naked in a circle passing the fleshlight around like a joint

it is 1996, i am a sweaty car salesman in a sports blazer. i am smoking a cigarette inside, my wife has left and took the kids with her, i am begging you to buy one of of my many pontiac trans ams that my boss was fooled into buying by my yugoslavian neighbor Rodavan who got out of the hague stuff on account of some very fortunate eastern european legal loopholes

if you don't have your ID with you we will also accept ego or superego

A man stands at the altar, as his blushing bride to be walks down the aisle. They are both wearing traditional wedding outfits, made entirely of napkins. A tear wells in his eye. He pulls a napkin off his tuxedo and wipes the tear from his eye.

A love hotel called "The Fuckingham Palace" 🏩😛

Imperial is the horniest system of measurement because one of the units is called feet.

School mottos are always the most@absolute fuckboy shit. “Service. Honor. Excellence.” “Loyalty. Taking Your Vitamins. Another Boring Thing.”

if they were a bigger band they would have to call themselves Bus Halen

jelquin phoenix

we live in a society
we laugh in a society
we love in a society

damn, just found out about the extraction of surplus value, that shit sucks

Tu es un boomer, Harry.

Just woke up and my #ballsack has inflated to thrice its original size, hoping it's just a phase

dallas PD wants us to believe the witness that just died had 12 fucking pounds of weed in his apartment? was my guy swimming around in a scrooge mcduck weed vault in his apartment? like are you fucking kidding me my dudes. they definitely murdered him