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@Surasanji I gave my dog some of the leftover ox tail. Does that win me back any karma points?

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@Mrfunkedude *just clucks his tongue and shakes his head with quiet disdain*

@genderlessmenace666@queer.party I also love my cat and all cats and your cat.

@Mrfunkedude I'm not going to pretend I'm not disappointed in your responsible life decisions, because I'm very disappointed. Everyone knows that Thursday is the best day to pretend to be sick and hide in bed. Everyone.

@Ophillous It's like you're reading my diary.

...You're not reading my diary, are you?

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@Surasanji Hmm... I imagine you'd be a mastermind rogue with a multiclass into some form of cleric for dimension door type spells. You're a halfling, and your background is Sage! You have the War Caster feat, since you're good at keeping up concentration under duress!

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@SquidPresident You are a noble triton divination wizard of the anthropologist background, you have the linguist background. You have spent a long time studying the languages and cultures of the overworld, and have returned from a brief life of mild adventuring to teach the lessons you have learned to your community under the seas. The leaders of your community regard you highly, and count on you for council and advice. One day soon, will they task you with returning above the waves?

The office is out of milk. This is a bad thing for my coffee.

Not to be hyperbolic, but this is the WORST thing that could POSSIBLY happen at a job in the history of EVER.

@Mrfunkedude Yeah. I mean, you are going home after the Pho, aren't you? Getting back in bed with the GF? Watching silly cartoons?

It's time for everyone's favorite reality show:

Touch Tank or Drunk Tank!

@Ophillous Internet customer service manager for a US based furniture manufacturer, importer, and wholeseller.

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A person: haha why does Donald Duck wear a shirt but no pants??

Me, deadpan: Donald Duck is a water fowl with a cloaca, pants are both impractical and unnecessary to conform with social norms regarding genital concealment. Why would he wear pants?

Them, confused: ...

Me, laughing on the inside: ...

Them: it was a JOKE! (walks away in disgust)

Me: *smiles*

breaking vegetarianism, food 

@root Tell Will Smith I said hello and that I also like Philadelphia, please.

@johnrandom@cryptids.online This time of year in Tel Aviv it's cold and it's wet. Having extra, dry, clean socks is a huge boost for mood and general wellbeing. There's something about having warm feet that just sort of helps.

@johnrandom@cryptids.online The bonus in Tel Aviv is that homeless people know who I am. I never have cash on me, but they know I'll get them a meal or two, a bottle of cola, and always some socks.

@johnrandom@cryptids.online I also take them into the store and buy them food. What is $20.00 in bread, peanut butter, socks, and the like to me? Nothing. I waste that money on stupid shit all the time.

@johnrandom@cryptids.online buy socks for the homeless. Not a joke. I buy socks for the homeless and they ALWAYS need them.

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