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I’m loving th Fediverse 🥰

You’re all beautiful and appreciated

the ig friends were never meant to see nor do they understand the dumpster fire that is text based posts

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Human beings were never meant to be on a single social media platform for life. Archaeological evidence tells us our earliest ancestors hopped from platform to platform, following the migrations of the influencer herds, moving on when the soil was too depleted to grow new discourse

How to be An Genius:

1. Pay $44bn for a site worth 1/2 that
2. Sack everyone who knows how it works
3. Release far-right troll army
4. Turn genuine validation into a badge of idiocy
5. Kill most of your ad revenue
6. Inflate API price to recoup money
7. Everyone stops using API and scrapes site instead
8. Massively limit the service to end scraping
9. Service is now unusable
10. Remaining advertising value destroyed
11. Kill a cornerstone of the internet
12. Lose $44bn

Twitter refugees coming onto Mastodon to ask for a #BlueSky invite.

Sure, sure, let me get you back to the guy who dicked you over. (#Jack)

12,956,220 accounts
+3,761 in the last hour
+66,429 in the last day
+148,041 in the last week

@gdarkconrad True, but for a disinformation business your account could still rake in some hate for the 2024 election. Sincerily wish you get decent money for your labor. Fuck that rich asshole.

@davidallengreen hi, not new but was wondering if there are any clients that offer algorithmic sorting of posts. i'm not always into the timeline and would like to just get the daily hot topics and be done scrolling sooner. Thanks for the toot!

“Elon must be destroying the site on purpose he can’t be that stupid!” Last week a billionaire imploded, literally, because he thought he could outsmart the laws of physics. Never being told “no” makes a person stupid.

'Frog taxidermy found inside French mansion that had been sealed for 100 years.'

Historic milestone: 54 countries adopt the Pan-European Master Plan for Cycling Promotion
ecf.com/news-and-events/news/h
The new pan-European cycling master plan includes ECF recommendations on cycling infrastructure, funding and tourism and covers 54 countries across Europe and North America. Its key objective is to help double cycling levels in the region by 2030

@stevendbrewer

I was shooting heroin and reading “The Fountainhead” in the front seat of my privately owned police cruiser when a call came in.

I put a quarter in the radio to activate it. It was the chief.

“Bad news, detective. We got a situation.”

“What? Is the mayor trying to ban trans fats again?”

“Worse. Somebody just stole four hundred and forty-seven million dollars’ worth of bitcoins.”

The heroin needle practically fell out of my arm. “What kind of monster would do something like that? Bitcoins are the ultimate currency: virtual, anonymous, stateless. They represent true economic freedom, not subject to arbitrary manipulation by any government. Do we have any leads?”

“Not yet. But mark my words: we’re going to figure out who did this and we’re going to take them down … provided someone pays us a fair market rate to do so.”

“Easy, chief,” I said. “Any rate the market offers is, by definition, fair.”

He laughed. “That’s why you’re the best I got, Lisowski. Now you get out there and find those bitcoins.”

“Don’t worry,” I said. “I’m on it.”

I put a quarter in the siren. Ten minutes later, I was on the scene. It was a normal office building, strangled on all sides by public sidewalks. I hopped over them and went inside.

“Home Depot™ Presents the Police!®” I said, flashing my badge and my gun and a small picture of Ron Paul. “Nobody move unless you want to!”

They didn’t.

“Now, which one of you punks is going to pay me to investigate this crime?”

No one spoke up.

“Come on,” I said. “Don’t you all understand that the protection of private property is the foundation of all personal liberty?”

It didn’t seem like they did.

“Seriously, guys. Without a strong economic motivator, I’m just going to stand here and not solve this case. Cash is fine, but I prefer being paid in gold bullion or autographed Penn Jillette posters.”

Nothing. These people were stonewalling me. It almost seemed like they didn’t care that a fortune in computer money invented to buy drugs and kiddie p0rn was missing.

I figured I could wait them out. I lit several cigarettes indoors. A pregnant lady coughed, and I told her that secondhand smoke is a myth. Just then, a man in glasses made a break for it.

“Subway™ Eat Fresh and Freeze, Scumbag!®” I yelled.

Too late. He was already out the front door. I went after him.
“Stop right there!” I yelled as I ran. He was faster than me because I always try to avoid stepping on public sidewalks. Our country needs a private-sidewalk voucher system, but, thanks to the incestuous interplay between our corrupt federal government and the public-sidewalk lobby, it will never happen.

I was losing him. “Listen, I’ll pay you to stop!” I yelled. “What would you consider an appropriate price point for stopping? I’ll offer you a thirteenth of an ounce of gold and a gently worn ‘Bob Barr ‘08’ extra-large long-sleeved men’s T-shirt!”

He turned. In his hand was a revolver that the Constitution said he had every right to own. He fired at me and missed. I pulled my own gun, put a quarter in it, and fired back. The bullet lodged in a U.S.P.S. mailbox less than a foot from his head. I shot the mailbox again, on purpose.

“All right, all right!” the man yelled, throwing down his weapon. “I give up, cop! I confess: I took the bitcoins.”

“Why’d you do it?” I asked, as I slapped a pair of Oikos™ Greek Yogurt Presents Handcuffs® on the guy.

“Because I was afraid.”

“Afraid?”

“Afraid of an economic future free from the pernicious meddling of central bankers,” he said. “I’m a central banker.”

I wanted to coldcock the guy. Years ago, a central banker killed my partner. Instead, I shook my head.

“Let this be a message to all your central-banker friends out on the street,” I said. “No matter how many bitcoins you steal, you’ll never take away the dream of an open society based on the principles of personal and economic freedom.”

He nodded, because he knew I was right. Then he swiped his credit card to pay me for arresting him.

10:02am: Quantum of Solace 11:56 am: Children of Men
12:53 pm: Dune. 1:53 pm: Blade Runner 2049

#Wildfires #CanadaWildfires #NYC #movies

Linus Torvalds, in his way, defends trans rights and speaks out against the anti-woke politics.

(Do not recommend you scroll down too far in the thread, it gets pretty ugly at some point.)

social.kernel.org/notice/AWSXo

My Uncle Jeb made a solar powered still.

It turns sunshine into moonshine.

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