Anna @jellycrystals@social.cleverlibre.org

Last night, I had real trouble getting off to sleep because a creative idea smacked me in the face.

I'd been looking for some retro cat eye glasses for ages but most online vendors can't accommodate my great big moon face. And nothing makes great big moon face look worse than glasses that are too small.

So, I decided to extend the ones I have with resin.

Here, for your delectation, my *bat wing* extended glasses.

*takes bow*

Surely I can't be the only person who gets excited when they pull out a Twiglet that looks like a sister chromatid...

The holidays can be a really tough time. The advice i often heard was, "Volunteer at a soup kitchen. Help others. Get out of your head." It's perfectly fine advice, but unhelpful if the mere thought of interacting with people is overwhelming. Anyway, here's a thing I did one year that did help:

I bought a Cookie Monster costume, went to the airport, and waited at arrivals with a sign that said "COOKIE"

Didn't have to talk to anyone and boy did I get to watch people's faces light up.

Poetry

Dear Jim,
Please paint me an episode of popular Saturday dating show Take Me Out in which the young man coming down the love lift is the Norris-Thing from The Thing. It is attempting to absorb and replicate the desperate screaming female contestants and to the side Paddy McGuinness vomits on his chest in fear. This could have been averted if not for the fact that Kurt Russell has spotted himself on camera and is waving to family.
Thanks,
Greig Morrison

#cats #printers

That news link has now expired. Here is the story from an alternative source: https://metro.co.uk/2013/02/15/drunk-man-set-fire-to-peanuts-and-tried-to-have-sex-with-ambulance-3480219/amp/

Dear Jim,
This happened recently in a little town called Barnstaple, Devon:
http://www.thisisdevon.co.uk/Man-tried-making-love-ambulance-Barnstaple-bus/story-18137026-detail/story.html#axzz2Ku10WhjP
Please paint me what happened in this story.
It would make my life,
Claudia Capocci

Dear Jim,
Please paint me Mr. Blobby having his mugshot taken in a police station having clearly been involved in a physical altercation. Meanwhile, Noel Edmonds is dressed in ladies lingerie and is giving a statement to a police officer that resembles Captain Jack Sparrow. There are empty Dr. Pepper cans everywhere.
Many thanks,
Chris

All I want for Christmas is ²³⁵U 🤣