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PSA!!!!

Remember to check in on your personal Federal Agent:. They get lonely too.

I'm tired of having to drag things out of people who are unavailable.

If you don't want to engage, get lost and don't waist my time.

What tires me isn't the ugliness of humanity or it's stupidity, but the hypocritical tug of war of ' I want your attention but I don't want you to bother me '.

@peterdrake

Closest I got to a corporate ad-free is duckduckgo. Other searches are selfhosted.

BOSS: I need you to put these coupon stickers on all the Pick Me Up boxes

EMPLOYEE: Do you care where we place those stickers?

BOSS: Yeah, *on the box*. Don’t make me repeat myself. Idiots.

@ashley

Insult me all you want, having had my existence acknowledged by you is the worst there is.

@krzyzanowskim

Do they also offer free bathtub kidney inspections? Alleyway prostate exams?

No thanks.

Freezing rain coated rotting apples, creating a solid icy shell around them. When the apples slipped out of the bottom of the ice casing, it resulted in these "ghost apples."

woodtv.com/news/kent-county/ic

@niconiconi

You know the code is ancient when it says it cannot be exported to Eastern Germany.

@jaysonmassey

Fun fact:: I will not talk to you about dildos on LinkedIn. I will, however- discuss it over coffee. Although that would be an unconventional conversation for me in such a scenario, it would be preferred by me to leave such subject matter out of view of future employers and stakeholders.

@slash

I herd you like ruby on rails- so I got you some rails for your rails.

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