Dаn̈ıel Раršlow 🥧 @pieist@social.cleverlibre.org

If I worked for twitter and formed a band with some colleagues to play at the holiday party I'd want to call it The Shadow Band

@ceoln Another good one is to tell them you donate to PETA. I don't, actually and my feelings about them are somewhat mixed; but if the person responds by turning purple and telling you they'd gladly machine-gun the last rhinoceros if it'll make you cry, you've got a fair idea what you're dealing with.

@ceoln Not so much a question of right or wrong as how much foaming at the mouth ensues.

A pretty good way to determine whether I'd be willing to spend one more second in a given person's presence would be to ask them for their opinion on Greta Thunberg, Meghan Markle and Amber Heard.

@MalcolmReynolds @Popehat Thanks to her every time I see his name I'm thinking of the film title "Little Man Tate"

@Sundae_Gurl Thanks to Greta now every time I see his name I think of the film title "Little Man Tate"

@DoesntExist @lauren
Hilariously, I've had to mute a couple of people who actually started sealioning about this.

@almostconverge Besides, everyone should follow a Hungaro-Yorkshireman, even if only for completionist purposes.

@almostconverge Think you might be the first person I've followed on Mastodon because their profile made me grin.

@glocq@mastouille.fr @DoesntExist @lauren
(Sorry, that was rudely abrupt. "Are you sure you're trying to solve the right problem?" Is often a good question, when there are cues present that genuinely suggest that the asker has got hold of the wrong end of the stick. But this one's pretty stark.)

@glocq@mastouille.fr @DoesntExist @lauren
Q: Anyone know of a vegan muffin recipe?
A: Why does it have to be vegan?

No. It's a derail.

@DoesntExist @lauren (While in fact I did and still do have a lot against PHP, the [true] answer I gave was that the [Fortune 100] company had an immutable no-PHP IT policy. Which just caused the derail to veer into what a stupid elitist policy that was and that I should stand up and fight it. Yeesh.)

@DoesntExist @lauren
Depressingly dumb as that is, what I find a little worse is the sea lion derail.

Q: Does anyone know of a good webmail client that's not PHP?
A: What have you got against PHP?

And no matter how you respond, the you will never get an answer, because now everyone is baited into a religious war.

Never-fail argument-winner:

"I'll have you know I have a doctorate in Confirmation Bias from the University of Youtube."

@spherulitic @lauren That's not bad

Every time I think of Game of Thrones sooner or later I always come back to the fact that "Daenerys Targaryen" is the most fanfic name ever devised.

@isaacw @Standplaats_KRK Yeah, it does all the rotary dial things. There are a few of them around, personally I like this one for its skeuomorphic grubbiness. https://apps.apple.com/us/app/vintagephone/id438179925

@ottocrat Or certain erstwhile US presidents