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The rain, it falleth everywhere,Upon the just and unjust fellow.

But more upon the just because,The unjust hath the just's umbrella.

But I did not in fact celebrate 😞

This Star Wars Day, let’s take comfort that our current banking crisis is nowhere near as bleak as the one the Galactic financial sector faced following the Empire’s collapse.

Setting the scene: At the end of Star Wars: Episode VI — Return of the Jedi, the Galactic banking system was on the brink of failure. A $419 quintillion government project, the second Death Star, had just been destroyed by the Rebel Alliance, and the Galactic economy was set to enter a deep, deep depression.

How to avoid catastrophe? Well, you had the usual suspects pushing bitcoin, but the only real solution was a massive bailout to save distressed banks. In a 2015 paper, Zachary Feinstein, an assistant professor at Washington University in St. Louis, attempted to calculate how much the Rebel Alliance would have to spend on a bank bailout.

What he found: Estimating that the Intergalactic Banking Clan contained 17,501 systemically important banks that were too big to fail, and that the Galactic economy’s annual Gross Galactic Product (GGP, similar to GDP) was $4.6 sextillion, Feinstein calculated that a rescue package would need to be at least 15% of GGP in order to prevent “catastrophic economic collapse.” That amounts to a $690 quintillion bailout.