# How fear modulates our perception of others

> When we get into relationships with people, be they platonic or romantic, we tend to look for the similarities we share; so we find that person attractive, but we also find appealing “the complementing differences we have”.

But when fear enters the stage:

> "Fear ... distorts our perception of that other person, and _we start to look at people as a problem rather than a person._” You also stop seeing those similarities you once saw, the things that brought you together; all you can see are the differences, which have become a threat.
> -- John-Paul Davies, via [The Guardian](https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/mar/26/my-friend-is-an-anti-vaxxer-and-shes-converting-my-husband-what-can-i-do)