The New York Times has never lost its fanboi ardor for mega-crook Sam Bankman-Fried. This story transcends self-parody.

Headline:

"The Shearing of Sam Bankman-Fried

"The disgraced crypto king, on trial for financial fraud, takes the stand. But his hair tells its own story."

I swear I am not making this up. However, I won't link to it, either.