@thor
> i just realised i didn’t meet my own standards. which aren’t all too unreasonable. manage to finish college? fail. manage to keep a job? fail. try to improve? fail. etc.

reading your writings on adhd and related, i get the feeling that i might have something like it. on the other hand that diagnose wouldn't help me much, other than that i could put a label on my issues (which are sometimes awkwardly close to what you describe..).