I wish I wasn't so aggressive.
I wish I didn't push people away.

What are some more pro-social ways of coping with aggression etc?

@Hyolobrika depends on the situation

Like, if I came across someone promoting violence against their political opponents again (changeling), or promoting groomer/egg shit (Arcana), or promoting violence against a different race (the far-rightoids and poasties) what should I do?
Actually, scratch that first and last one. Responding to aggression with aggression is perfectly fine. If people don't like me for it, well, sucks to be them I guess . And anyway, they only didn't like it when I responded to a trans person that way.

@Hyolobrika @straw the mute button is a glorious invention :)

Yeah, that's true. I like the feeling of getting back at them though.
Muting feels like running away, weak.

Anyway, disqordia.space blocked all my alts, so I guess I won :)

@Hyolobrika @bonifartius you were definitely wrong there...

I admit I overreacted when telling Arcanya to kill themselves. But Changeling said those who disagree with them "don't deserve oxygen". That's just as violent as what I said back.

@Hyolobrika @bonifartius it's not just about the overreaction it's also about the "promoting groomer/egg shit" thing, which is just complete bullshit.

anyway, what did you say back?

>it's also about the "promoting groomer/egg shit" thing, which is just complete bullshit.
What do you call it when someone talks about and to someone as though they are trans, when they have made it clear that they aren't and don't want to be considered that way?

>anyway, what did you say back?
To Changeling, I said "kys, groomer. some things are not appropriate for children" (they were saying that if you think children's access to HRT should be denied, you should be denied oxygen).

@Hyolobrika @bonifartius >What do you call it when someone talks about and to someone as though they are trans, when they have made it clear that they aren't and don't want to be considered that way?
in that context, a joke. when I tell a transphobe they're projecting it's a half joke, it's obviously not seriously telling someone they're trans and it is *definitely* not grooming

and that response is disproportional in my opinion, you don't have to respond to every negative thing aggressively and I really don't know how to explain this to you but "denied oxygen" is just a phrase and not really something that warrants a particularly aggressive response

>I tell a transphobe they're projecting it's a half joke, it's obviously not seriously telling someone they're trans and it is *definitely* not grooming
But how was I being transphobic? I just made a post complaining about the way people on fedi are assumed to be trans or gay. I didn't say that I thought gay or trans people were inferior, or bad "by their very nature" (and I don't think that).
>and that response is disproportional in my opinion
The one with Changeling?
>"denied oxygen" is just a phrase
What does it mean then?

@Hyolobrika @bonifartius >I just made a post complaining about the way people on fedi are assumed to be trans or gay
the problem with this is that you assume this is how people view it, when that isn't how most people interpreted that. people saw that as just complaining about a problem that doesn't exist, acting in bad faith to antagonize. I know that is really why you made the post but when eris posted the meme she didn't mean it in the way you think she did

Well, that’s how I was being even if some people didn’t interpret it that way. Even if I was complaining about a problem that doesn’t exist, that wouldn’t be transphobic. It’s an annoying tendency with the left (or at least the modern SJW left) to consider something that casts even the slightest aspersion on minorities as “bigotry”.

How did eris mean it then?

@Hyolobrika @bonifartius eris meant it as a meme about feminizing, you thought she meant it as assuming everyone is transgender and became aggressive, she thought you thought she meant it as a meme and nobody who isn't transphobic and interprets it as a meme is that aggressive

No. I knew they meant it as a mock threat of feminisation towards cis men (who believe in market economics). That was what I took offense at. The other post that Arcana responded to was separate, but related.

You wanna stop getting mad at people on the internet? It's easy, all you gotta do is keep it in your mind that there's a possibility they're just saying this shit to piss you off, so getting upset is actually losing.

I'll try.

@Hyolobrika @cjd @bonifartius @straw I already know that's why they do it; the issue is that innocent people believe what they say, and I hate misinformation which can set people on the wrong path.

I guess it sucks, but ultimately people are responsible for themselves. You can't protect everyone from everything.

> If you want to shrink something,
> you must first allow it to expand.
> If you want to get rid of something,
> you must first allow it to flourish.

~ Lao Tsu

Misinformation breeds critical thinking and healthy doubt. Fact checking or "setting the record straight" is a losing game.

Low quality misinformation helps people improve their critical thinking so you should not suppress it. The actually dangerous kind of misinformation would be worth suppressing, but it will evade your efforts to fact-check, and may even co-opt you in the scheme.