@bonifartius@qoto.org @CapitalB@noagendasocial.com It's very likely she saw it as shaming. I was quite a few years younger back then, and I'm still terrible at communicating my intent well. And getting criticism from a random stranger is easily taken in bad faith, especially when it happens in public.
My point was more that even if @CapitalB@noagendasocial.com were to offer his help to try and alleviate the situation, it is likely to not help, and a good chance of the situation getting worse. I can understand the reluctance of someone walking up to a parent and asking whether they need help in raising their child.
@tyil @CapitalB i think there is research about this that it's a very deep rooted fear of exclusion from society if your children behave wrong, i can look for it. so, with a crying child you are already in slight panuc mode. if most of the experiences are bad you expect people to act in bad faith, even when they sincerely offer help. literally the only thing that helps is relentless kindness. which is hard for everyone, as everyone is stressed by shit now.
Well it was not crying it was ZWÄNGEN or in higher German sinnloses quängeln
Dunno ze Englisch törm sorry
@bonifartius no. She was full of shit and the mother too hahaha
I give any toddler ten minutes. Which all other passengers did. Noone cared for 10 minutes then everybody was annoyed.
Public transport isnt daycare. Not at all. Get out, sort your stuff and take the next bus in 30min ffs
My mother said she did the same from time to time. With three children. Bc an upset child does not magically "reset" during the next night.
@bonifartius@qoto.org @CapitalB@noagendasocial.com I've tried that once, and the mother was just passive-aggressive in her response, along the lines of "well I don't see you with a kid so you don't know how to handle kids to begin with". The kid kept crying for the rest of the ride 🙁