I’m worried that my reading of Farrell’s /Collaborative Circles/ is reinforcing my biases:
1. When it comes to remote work, screw short-form communications like Slack. If you must be remote, the safe option is to use email like Freud and the first-wave feminists and the Common Lisp design team did.
2. If you want a high-performing team, social events (like Friday afternoon “remote happy hours”) shouldn’t frown on discussions of the work in favor of random chatter that’s supposed to “bond”.
@marick on point 2 I couldn’t agree more. My experience working remotely for 15+ years is that those sessions work best when they’re more like parallel play than forced intimacy. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parallel_play
It’s the “being together” and the incidental chatter that make it so valuable. Sometimes I sit and listen and work away. Sometimes I’ll kick my feet up and just chat. Sometimes it’s about work. Sometimes it’s about random personal stuff.
The connection is key; not the subject matter.
@haruki_zaemon I’m becoming more and more fascinated with the idea of parallel play as an important metaphor for productive adult behavior.
Now I’m tempted to analyze my (successful!) marriage to see how much an easy tolerance of parallel play figures into that success.
@marick @haruki_zaemon My wife, Sharon, and I were talking about parallel play just last week, and hypothesizing that it's one reason our (40 year!) marriage has been so successful. Sometimes we'll do projects together, or play games together. And we do Wordle together every day. But we spend much more time in parallel play.
Sharon enjoys quilting retreats. A bunch of people get together to each work on their own quilting project side by side for a few days, sharing meals and conversations as desired.
I work remotely, but far prefer a co-working environment. The play there is even more parallel than if I were to go work at the Backblaze office. The folks at co-work are working on different projects and different companies, but there are still interesting chats at the coffee station or over lunch for those who wish to partake. And I just like the vibe of having other people around engaged in similar activity; it's a lot easier for me to focus on what I'm doing.
@bwbeach @haruki_zaemon Although. What would a conference/workshop that intended to emphasize parallel play look like?
@marick @haruki_zaemon I pondered this while flying home on Sunday, and off and on yesterday while working.
I thin Sharon's quilting retreats work because people are working with similar tools and techniques, even though they each have their own project. That gives them topics of conversation relevant to what they're working on.
What's the goal of a conference/workshop? Would it be sharing/learning information on a specific topic? If so, maybe you would ask people to bring projects related to that topic. And maybe intersperse parallel play time with talks/classes?
@bwbeach @haruki_zaemon I’m thinking about Monet’s and Renoir’s periods where they set up their easels side-by-side and painted the same scene. They could work in parallel, nudge their partner and say “Look what I’m doing”, and observe what their partner was doing and make a comment.
That was when the tenets and techniques of Impressionism solidified. There’s an interplay between “parallel play” and “ongoing critique” that might be worth looking into.
@marick @bwbeach@qoto.org ❤️
@bwbeach @haruki_zaemon Thanks for the comment. I have nothing constructive to say so, unusually for me, I won’t say anything.
Other than: congratulations on your 40 year marriage. But Dawn and I are gaining on you, one year per year.