@The_Whore_of_Blahbylon I'm translating this into British:

"The next time you happen to chance upon a chap driving a TD5 Land Rover that has been expertly configured to emit plumes of smoke akin to a steam engine, I implore you to visualize a timid squid squirting ink as a self-defensive mechanism in response to feeling apprehensive."

And yes, these people exist. Usually driving a Defender or Discovery that's lifted with a snorkel and their approach to off-roading is to ignore all official green lanes and just destroy everything around them. Horrid folk.