If you're officiating a wedding according broadly to the semi-secularized pseudo-Christian ceremony considered traditional in the United States, there is a line near the end, "you may kiss the bride," which is directed to the groom.
How does one adjust this line and its usage to accommodate a wedding consisting of two brides, without implying that one or the other should have the role of groom, and without deleting it altogether or otherwise significantly restructuring the flow of the ceremony?
Option 1: Begin chanting, "smooch! smooch!", rhythmically pounding on the lectern until the audience joins the chant.
Option 2: Press a mechanical button on a boom box to start the Barry White or appropriate equivalent.
Option 3: Daleks in bow ties enter the room, shrieking, "OSCULATE! OSCULATE!"
Option 4: Examine cuticles while pointing out, "Nobody can legally stop you from kissing now. Just saying."
