The post I've had to write out of sheer necessity: How to give advice on the internet without being an utter menace https://anotherangrywoman.com/2023/01/18/how-to-give-advice-on-the-internet-without-being-an-utter-menace/
This one goes out to you, reply guys.
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A suggestion for the "handling ambiguity" part: some people specify their preferences in their profile description, so looking there might be effective.
