Reminder that although it can help some people to have pronouns in your profile, pressuring people to put pronouns in their profile can forcibly out people or lead to misgendering (eg I am non-binary, but my pronouns are she/her/hers and this can make people gender me as a woman because they make binarist assumptions about language).

It's nice if allies put pronouns in their bio, but it should never be forced. You don't know who is cis, trans, or nb or why they don't want to share pronouns.

@RubyJones

If someone asks me to use feminine determiners and pronouns with them, I assume they are a woman, yes. That is what those words mean. If you feel non-binary, why don't you ask for non-binary grammar?

@tripu they're not feminine fucking pronouns. That is your projection of gender onto random sounds. Please get your bigotry out of my notifications!

@tripu and this is not about 'feeling' non-binary. I AM non-binary, you binarist piece of shit.

I am agender. I do not have a gender. Gender does not apply to me. Pronouns are just words and I should have to go through all that pain of changing mine just to make binarist fucks like you more comfortable. It is not OK to say shit like this.

@RubyJones

You projected hate and bigotry onto the random letters I typed.

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@RubyJones has probably blocked me by now and so she won't see this, but for random passers-by who might be undecided about who's the tolerant, sensible voice in this short dialogue:

I simply asked why, if she doesn't see herself as a woman or a man, she doesn't opt for new pronouns that don't carry any gender meaning at all, such as “zer” — or even the old one, “they”. She asks that people use “she”… but then she doesn't like that people assume she's a woman. If she feels “non-binary”, why not use non-gendered pronouns? Isn't that a reasonable question/suggestion on my part?

And I say “feel” and “see herself” instead of “is” simply because other people don't always see us as we see ourselves. Perhaps I see myself as a woman, as smart, or as a good dancer. Perhaps I'm mixed race and I consider myself mostly white. Perhaps I feel very masculine. Others may disagree with any of that. That simple point isn't bigoted, and it has nothing to do with treating all people with respect. It isn't “erasing” or “violence”.

Now read her two replies.

I just saw this. It's wrong in so many ways. Consider that exhibit B in my defence.

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