I have the best conversations with my mom. I try my best at a translation of the call I just had with her:

phone ringing
Me: Hello m...
Her: Eʟᴅᴇʀ Sᴘᴀᴡɴ.
Me: ...
Me: Yᴇs Gʀᴀɴᴅ Mᴀᴛʀɪᴀʀᴄʜ.
Her: I sʜᴀʟʟ sᴜᴍᴍᴏɴ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴏ ᴘᴀʀᴛᴀᴋᴇ ɪɴ ꜰᴇᴀsᴛɪɴɢ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ sᴀᴄʀɪꜰɪᴄᴇs ʟᴀɪᴅ ʙᴇꜰᴏʀᴇ ᴜs ᴛʜɪs ᴅᴀʏ ᴏꜰ sᴜɴ. Wɪʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴇᴇᴅ ᴍʏ sᴜᴍᴍᴏɴs?
Me: checks calendar
Me: Tʜᴇ sᴛᴀʀs ᴀʟɪɢɴ, ɴᴏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ ᴍᴇ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ɢʀᴇᴀᴛ ᴍᴏᴛʜᴇʀ. I sʜᴀʟʟ ᴍᴀɴɪꜰᴇsᴛ ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴄᴏᴜʀᴛ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ 12ᴛʜ ʜᴏᴜʀ ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴛʜᴇ sᴜɴ ʙᴇʟɪᴇᴠᴇs ɪᴛsᴇʟꜰ ɪɴᴠɪɴᴄɪʙʟᴇ.
Her: Tʜᴜs ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀᴅs ᴀʀᴇ sᴘᴏᴋᴇɴ, ᴛʜᴜs ɪᴛ sʜᴀʟʟ ʜᴀᴘᴘᴇɴ.
Me: Great, see you on sunday.
Her: Try to be punctual.

I always refer to her when people ask me "why are you like this?".