Ok...this is probably a GenX question/situation.
I got an anonymous email today to tell me my biofather has been put in assisted living.
Like most early GenX, I was feral, I rarely saw adults and when I did, abuse was brutal and constant.(I was born before abortion was legal, and my mother never let me forget it.) I left her house at 13 and made my own way in the world. (Now, those are some stories!)
I've only seen my father 15 times since I was 7 and they divorced. He's never met my kid, and she just turned old enough to buy booze.

It's not like if he'd ever reached out, or tried to visit I would have said no. I've had the same email address and land line! since 1995, and there are only three people in the world with my name.

I haven't spoken to any of my biological family in years.
I don't know what to do with this information.
Should I try to go and make peace and say goodbye? Will his current wife, barely older than me, let me? Will he even remember me?

What would you do?

@MissConstrue
I'd be leery of any/all anonymous emails about family, quite frankly. Anybody can masquerade as anybody else on the internet.

@ClaraListensprechen4
Yeah, I thought that too, but I have mad research skills, and was able to track his voting record to that address, and discovered that all of his properties had been sold, or redeeded to his wife's kids. The facility can't tell you if patient is there, if they are dementia or altzheimers, but I can ask them to ask the power of attorney to release the information. Whether she will?
Altheimers and dementia do not run in the family though, so I'm not sure why he's there...if in fact, you so astutely point out, he is there at all.
I've been trying to figure out a scam angle on this, and am coming up empty, but emotions are high, and I absolutely welcome common sense! Thank you.

@MissConstrue I’d it’s not a burdensome drive to say goodbye I would do it. @ClaraListensprechen4

@Pineywoozle @MissConstrue
Old folks in nursing homes don't necessarily have dementia but they have to live with those who do and it'll give any sane person a hard attitude.

But there's a factor of decades and the physical changes that go with it. Anyone not keeping in touch won't recognize the person you've become even so.

@ClaraListensprechen4 My great grandad always thought I was my mom and it was kind of interesting even as a kid to get that glimps into her relationship to him. Like I said I think there might be reasons that make it worth the effort but for sure don’t invest in it being some dream reunion etc. @MissConstrue

@Pineywoozle @MissConstrue
Wise words, piney. Like I said, it depends on where things are at.