Clara Listensprechen @ClaraListensprechen4@social.cleverlibre.org

Je suis John Mastodon. We are all #johnmastodon

#johnmastodonday

I heard when #JohnMastodon shitposts, you can actually smell it

#JohnMastodonDay

John Mastodon once went to watch a professional wrestling tournament. The referee declared him the winner.

#JohnMastodonDay

I was there when #JohnMastodon invented the hashtag. We were playing tic-tac-toe, and he wrote "YouSuckAtThis" next to the grid. The rest is history.

#JohnMastodonDay

#JohnMastodon has had to change his phone number 37 times because Taylor Swift won't stop sending nudes.

#JohnMastodonDay

#NeverForget

#JohnMastodon
#JohnMastodonDay
#Fediverse

I heard #johnmastodon taught karate to chuck norris. #johnmastodonday

Before John Mastodon met Bezos in 1993, amazon.com was still called theamazon.com

#JohnMastodon
#JohnMastodonDay

John Mastodon can outstare a cat.

#JohnMastodonDay
#JohnMastodon

I witnessed #JohnMastodon free a child trapped under a Volkswagen by giving the car a stern look.

#JohnMastodonDay

#JohnMastodon pulled them all
Emptied churches and shopping malls
Where he spoke, it would raise the roof
John Mastodon told the truth
But he made too many enemies
Of the people who would keep us on our knees
Hooray for John Masto
Who'll pray for John Mastodon?

John Mastodon put to shame
Governments who would slur his name
Plots and sex scandals failed outright
John merely said
Any kind of love is alright…

#XTC #JohnMastodonDay

#JohnMastodonDay
#johnmastodon
He always has his towel with him.

They thought about casting #JohnMastodon as the Hulk in the Avengers movies, but it he was just too big for the role.

#JohnMastodonDay

John Mastodon told Jack Dorsey, “Don’t hang out with that South African dork. He’s a weird one, dude.”

#JohnMastodonDay
#JohnMastodon

Patrick Stewart based Jean-Luc Picard on John Mastodon, after Gene Roddenberry introduced them.

#JohnMastodonDay
#JohnMastodon

Here in America and in countries, many people lived in corporate social media and worked on content farms. But not #JohnMastodon! He wandered across the internet with no shoes! He always carried the Fediverse with him. His instances started many more instances of the fediverse.

John Mastodon was admired by everyone and was welcome in their homes when he traveled there. He told stories, sang songs and read from fediverse timeline. He never had a home of his own, but he always had friends!

Today on #JohnMastodonday let us celebrate the fediverse full of friends.

Happy #JohnMastodonDay

“I will honour John Mastodon Day in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future. The Instances of all Three shall strive within me. I will not shut out the lessons that they teach,” said Scrooge.

#JohnMastodonDay

The real reason Zuckerberg and Musk never had their cage match was that John Mastodon said he would fight the winner.

#JohnMastodonDay

When John Mastodon met Medusa in a garden, Medusa looked away.

#JohnMastodonDay
#JohnMastodon