Clara Listensprechen @ClaraListensprechen4@social.cleverlibre.org

Santa and Mrs. Claus have two children. They have no idea about their famous dad. But they do have lots of cookies and cheer.

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People have been saying that Santa is woke.

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The Three Kings gave the Holy Infant gifts of Rold Gold® Pretzels, Frankenstein's Monster, and the space-station Mir.

Angels (we have heard) are high.

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The Xmas tree at the main entrance of the White House is actually a manned Secret Service station. Three rookie agents take shifts standing in the pot of water and Sprite with evergreen branches extended in their hands to resemble a tree.

One year an agent sneezed while Mittens the White House cat walked by. Till his dying days Mittens would never approach a tree ever again.

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Santa keeps four lists: 'Naughty', 'Nice', 'Meh', and 'Whatevs'.

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The timing of Christmas was set by the early Church Fathers to co-opt the Roman festival dedicated to the ancient Mob boss known as 'Sal the Vindictive'.

The Manager had a Christmas tree but no chimney.

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I used to sneak down just before dawn and after my father had finally gone to bed after assembling toys all night, and scatter extra screws and nuts around each one just to see the look of horror on his face as I took my seemingly structurally unsound new bike out sideto ride *real* fast…

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After the young Jesus was whipped with willow branches for encompassing the deaths of the young nobles who had mocked him, he cursed the willow tree with being less popular than its fantasy film and "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" namesakes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnZs8nipwVk

The rest of the year, Santa does contract work for UPS.

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Mary gave birth to Jesus in the ventilation ducts of an ancient ziggurat that had come under siege by foreign thieves posing as freedom fighters.

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That midnight wasn't so clear after that glorious star of old came on it.

Santa sued Bill Cosby over “hey hey hey” but settled out of court.

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The Star of Bethlehem was actually the very first Christian Space Laser.

The relationship between Santa and baby Jesus is dependent for tax deductions

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