Earlier in 2022, a former friend (I'll call her X) went to a get-together with 6 friends.

One day later, one of the friends (I'll call them Z), told her: "Sorry, I tested positive for #covid today, so I probably infected you yesterday. I already suspected it beforehand, but thought it was nothing. Turns out I was wrong!"

X was furious, rightfully so. How could Z have come to that meeting without warning anyone of their suspicions?

1/3

The next day, X tested negative and said "It's probably nothing, right? What are the chances that I'm really infected?" and she went to visit her parents, her boyfriend, a busy party and some meetings in the following days.

She did not warn any of them of her suspicions, she just suppressed these worries.

A few days later X tested positive. Now she had to call everyone: "Sorry, already suspected it, went to meet you anyway, didn't say a thing, thought it was nothing, guess I was wrong!"

2/3

I was already angry with X for days when she talked about her situation and I asked her how she dealt with this hypocritical fact.

X said: "I can't bear the thought that people are as angry for this with me as I am with Z. So, I decided to not be angry with Z anymore. Z couldn't help it. I'm sure people won't be angry with me now either. I couldn't help it."

I was baffled. I still am when I think back to it. The twists thoughts can take to solve negative feelings. Even so purposefully!

3/3

@begrudging_recluse One difficulty in this situation is that risk is on a continuum -- each person first has to judge their risk, and then decide which activities are worth the risk. The USA CDC says that you do not need to isolate if you test negative (cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/) -- so perhaps X judged that her risk was minuscule. For instance, how would you judge X's risk of infection vs. a person who goes out dining or shopping for a day without wearing a mask? The person who goes out for the day will probably be in the same room as an unmasked person who is infected, even if they can't identify who it is.

@DecaturNature

If you've been anywhere on the zeroes.ca server or my profile, you'd probably read that I would consider all of these situations dangerous and unethical for other individuals and society's health at large.

Would recommend looking more into the science of covid spread and long term health consequences (for example here: zeroes.ca/@augieray@mastodon.s ), instead of only going for CDC's guidelines. Personal risk is unfortunately too limited a scope for society at large.

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@begrudging_recluse I'm familiar with the risks, but generally people look to social cues for how to deal with risks at the social level. Attending parties or meetings unmasked is inherently risky; Xs knowledge that she had been exposed (and tested negative) didn't really increase the risk much for others attending. For her parents and boyfriends, it depends on how cautious they are being in general (which X should be aware of, and I hope she would respect). Dealing with society-level risks are inherently society-level decisions. Maybe this exposes your/our society for being more reckless and inconsiderate than it often pretends to be...but that really was clear long before Covid (at least in the USA).

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