@jens
Actually, I think it can be a win scenario. We just need to push our horizons forward towards longer term. I am telling my kids this: "I know you don't like this. Me neither. But I am doing it, so that you become a good person 20+ years from now."

Think about it this way: in a previous response, you expressed gratitude to your parents. That's what we are working towards: so that they are one day grateful to us for who they became - with all the positives as well as negatives. Then, I hope, parenting can be a win. And to stress that, I try to be explicit about that gratitude of mine with my old guys too. I also know it cheers them up, especially because it's honest and true.