@jens The whole thread is good, thanks for it. I react here (though I was triggered several times already):

> so what's the choice for them

Here's a proper psych theory about the dynamics you describe: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karpman_drama_triangle

Keywords: Karpman drama triangle, co-dependency, emotional abuse

There is a way out of the triangle and it is by refusing to participate in the dynamics. I experienced it as an "escape through the centre" of the triangle. There are smart articles and youtube videos on this just a google search away.