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I had to phone our would be new Internet service provider today just to confirm the time they're coming tomorrow as they sent me a text saying they'd be there in the morning whereas I arranged for them to come in the afternoon.
When switchboard answered the phone I was presented with a menu: press 1 for Luxemburgish, press 2 for German, press 3 for French or press 4 for English. Feeling a bit lazy, I opted for #4, English, so when the human operator actually answered the phone I started speaking English. The operator immediately asked me if I spoke French as she didn't feel able to handle the call in English! Is it just me or is it really a bit odd to offer people the option of speaking English and then when they ask for that option, you say to them “no, no, I can't do that!

It's astounding that worthless morons like Frost get to criticize what the UK government is doing on the Brexit front without ever being asked to detail what alternative measures they would recommend.

The answer is of course, that they don't have any workable ideas of their own, just criticism of other peoples ideas!

thelondoneconomic.com/politics

This is just terrific - the cattle in the barn of the farm next door are making such a bloody row that I can't sleep. I don't know why - they are never normally this noisy. I'm guessing that this is a new batch of calves that have just been taken from their mothers and are calling out for her, however, I wish they would SFU!!!

Just came across a poll question asking, “Should students be able to use cell phones in school?” and my first thought was if they can’t use cell phones in school, how else are they gonna be able to say goodbye to their parents before they get gunned down in the daily school shootings and what the fuck is wrong with this country?

Siri, show me a headline that encapsulates the weapons-grade idiocy of Brexit and the cynicism of politicians willing to carry on damaging the country because they dare not admit how horrendously they’ve failed us.

Here’s what I found:

“Secret cross-party summit held to confront failings of Brexit”

A shocking new report has found Boris Johnson’s “oven ready” Brexit deal (championed by Rishi Sunak) has caused the small boats crisis in the English Channel. It’s getting very little media attention so let’s put that right!

youtu.be/eVcXT9ZmQ5k

The men who can't hit the toilet when taking a piss are the same men who think they're qualified to carry hand guns and AR-15s.

Teachers in 1930s Germany hid books to avoid being arrested.

Teachers in republican Florida are hiding books to avoid being arrested.

Any questions?

-- Jeff Tiedrich

Condoms are available in three sizes.

Small, medium, and Liar.

🐢💨
#jokes

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