Pivo @Pivo@social.cleverlibre.org

I was trying to edit the original post to fix the broken link and deleted the entire damn post by mistake. Anyway,

YOU SHOULD READ THIS! IT TASTES LIKE RAINBOWS WITH CLOUDBURSTS AND FEELS LIKE YOU’RE RIDING A UNICORN

https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/politics-news/judge-refuses-dismiss-dominion-lawsuit-fox-news-rcna76422

An escape room filled with people who want to put their 3yo on the phone to say hi

god: combine that cat with that snake

angel: oh. lord. no

god: cat snake

angel: but

god: DO IT

The best way to thwart dad jokes is with poisoned dinners.

My son keeps getting his hair caught in my nose ring is not a sentence I could ever have imagined saying but here we are

There is no limit to the things I can fail to notice until it's too late!

I’m not antisocial, I just can’t stand being around other people.

0 days since I lost my glasses while wearing them

I learned the hard way not to take my good lute to a Renaissance fair.

I just overheard a lady at the Home Depot garden center ask where the perineums are and I hope she finds everything she’s looking for and more.

We’re loading the outside-facing wedge of this revolving door with hotdog buns and rotating in as many pigeons as possible to the office lobby when Jerry leaves the building.

Let’s see if he notices…

“How’s life treating you?”

Me: With contempt.

A 'word salad' sounds both delicious and informative. I feel like one would be both full and smart after eating it.

Confucius: “Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.”

Me taking notes: 𝘊𝘰𝘯𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘪𝘶𝘴 𝘴𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶’𝘳𝘦 𝘨𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘨𝘦, 𝘨𝘰 𝘣𝘪𝘨 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘰𝘶𝘵 2 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘴.

Cozy NYC Studio Apt. $2500/mo