From the article : "A few people pointed out that it could kill everyone, but these people are anti-science and obviously hate their neighbors."

Everyone Jumps Off Bridge After New Government Order Telling Everyone To Jump Off Bridge

U.S.—After state governments across the country directed their citizens to shut down their businesses and just kinda hope things worked out, a new order has been issued: everyone is to jump off a bridge immediately.A government official issued the order to solve our current crisis, and everyone immediately complied."Everyone jump off a bridge," …

https://babylonbee.com/news/government-issues-new-directive-telling-everyone-to-jump-off-a-bridge