I often tell people how clumsy I can be and I'm not sure they always believe me. Are you sitting comfortably?

Pottered into the kitchen in my PJs. Awake early as I tend to be thanks to my work-bodyclock, so it's about 05:15 and I'm a tad bleary. What's needed here is coffee.

Boil the kettle and pour water into my favourite cup to warm. Grind beans. Fill coffee-maker filter holder and fit to machine. Notice water is low in the tank. Fill a tall cup with water and pour into machine.

Go to put tall cup on counter next to warming coffee cup. Somehow manage to let go of cup too soon which slips towards hot cup and knocks it heavily towards... me.

Freshly boiled water shoots out of small cup and lands on left boob. Thin PJ t-shirt offers approximately no protection but does cling nicely to skin.

Screech, grab shirt and pull away from stinging tit.

Go to bathroom, remove shirt and replace with something dry and soft that won't hurt boiled nipple.

Return to kitchen, check cup - miraculously unharmed - continue making coffee. Stagger back to bed.

Breakfast later should be an adventure.