1-600-DOCTORB @dumdumjobes@social.cleverlibre.org

Took my daughter and her friends to the mall. Learned that “lil uzi vert” Is not short for Little Uzikiel Vertex or Little Jacuzzi Vertical. Also learned I’m not invited back to the mall.

@trinsec When I was a kid and used to watch Looney Toons (unlike when I watch them as an adult), I was always confused when they would flash lollipops on the screen from time to time. It wasn't until I caught one of those rare shorts where they actually labeled the punchline that I was able to make sense of those jokes. Same thing when they would show a braying donkey and your brain was supposed to go "Oh, a jackass". It's possible they were going for something more benign in the pic I posted, but Occam's razor and all that makes me think nah. Best case, it's a lousy double entente. Worst case (and more likely), homophobic junk. So it goes.

Two grandma themed shirts next to a “don’t be a cock sucker” shirt. Perfection.

There are kids in my house asking the Alexa to play music and I’m sitting here thinking “There’s no way that’s the real name of a real song by a real artist…” and then 5 seconds later a song comes on. I’m that many years old now.

Just two back-to-back thoughts that popped in my head, completely unrelated.

Not to kink shame or anything, but I'm pretty sure Mike Pence would let Trump shit in his mouth.

Are you telling me they could've named the software "scumbag", and then chose NOT to?!?

@JamesHMcLaren I don't know which superhero that would be, I just know it would be played by Jack Black.

Land of Confusion by Genesis is the song that Trent Reznor has been trying to write for the last twenty years. Listen to it and tell me I’m wrong. I dare you.