Loyalties lead to war.
It's not the only thing but usually connected to conditional existence or hidden / unsaid expectations.
Life is full of fake loyalties and people that shy away from battles (individually, in a their own social group, or externally tested from opposition or mutually curious people)

Loyalty to yourself can exist while looking after others though under duress gets played against each other...

My ideal when under stresses to allow the right things to come through not matter from which side or who says it or from unsaid scores or opinions which all come out at the wrong time.

You might not want that for other or yourself.