elon musk has figured out the one weird trick for not having to pay the employees you fired: make them sign arbitration agreements, then don't select arbitrators or pay the arbitration firms
"the company is refusing to pay its share of filing fees to the arbitration company... in cases where the arbitration agreement does not specify a particular arbitration firm, Twitter will not agree on selecting an arbitrator, simply ignoring her emails to Twitter’s own lawyers."
bah! who needs ads when that sweet sweet $8/mo subscription revenue is flowing in?
https://www.cnn.com/2023/02/10/tech/twitter-top-advertiser-decline
Watching them try to launch all these new idiotic features completely live and untested and then rapidly change their mind is a bit like watching a Tesla try to repeatedly try and fail to auto-park. And noticing that it really, really wants to put itself across a nearby set of train tracks...
and another thing: im not a paid bootlicker. please dont put in the newspaper that i am a paid bootlicker
lmao, "we found out your epic posts were overloading the mainframe sir"
Some engineer did a fantastic job of saving probably their entire team's jobs by pulling that whopper of a lie out of their ass
lmao he probably thinks ddos is when normal people aren't being force-fed catturd2 posts
Good to know me #BlockTheBlue'ing is killing Musk's site
This is the Roko's basilisk Elon fears, a chat program that says “trans rights”
lmfao the replies on that are just garbage ass feature requests, complaints, crypto grifters, billionaire boot lickers and shitty memes
extremely funny that he paid billions to be King Mod and has managed to fuckup his dogshit website so badly that now no one sees his terrible posts
This could be solved incredibly easily by just making “following” a simple chronological feed just like everybody wants, but, no, the Boer must have muh elgerithim
Throwing daily jargon updates at the customer is a sign the project is going super well!
he has no idea what any of this means
lmaoooooo
didn't spend ad dollars, just had the intern post a youtube link to their commercial
Time to block him if you haven't already, so we can see what else he'll fuck up as he worms his way around the blocks
Can't wait to read the twitter files about this direct collusion between elected officials and the CEO of twitter
Vanity UN-Fair…get it? Honestly think this is an original Elon. It seems like the sort of thing he would feel was hilarious
so mad at bluechecks that you end up with a system that is
a: redundant (double badging!) and confusing and
b: looks like the unicode fake verification the lamest goobers used to do
Twitter turning into ‘Elon forcing his terrible boomer ass tweets down everyone’s throats’ is exceeding my wildest expectations
And at least jay stile sold his site at a profit
I mean he hates trans people because he got dumped for a trans woman and he hates black people because his family isn't allowed to enslave them anymore, so Ron "talking about trans people or black people in schools is now illegal" DeSantis is a perfect fit
oh my fucking god this is over his "go eagles" tweet that he deleted by the next morning
he's going to make his last remaining engineer force everyone to like 5 of musk's tweets before they can see one post on their timeline
just hard-code a 2M "like" head start onto every one of his tweets, maybe that'll shut him up
the future is being written entirely by pathetic idiot babymen
https://www.platformer.news/p/yes-elon-musk-created-a-special-system
My man was refreshing his tweet staring at his view count the whole time he was at the Super Bowl and then, instead of going to an after party orgy like a normal billionaire, got right on his private jet to yell at tired engineers who scrambled down to the office on a Sunday night.
Winning!
Imagining him calling an all-hands codeathon session to get this "problem" "fixed", frantically hoping they can do it without anybody outside the company finding out, because that's like the only thing that he really fears, being seen as a pitiful needy dweeb who has to buy his likes
All depends on secrecy. Every aspect of his self-worth hangs on whether they can make this work without anyone finding out.
And like two days later, boom lmao
I mean it wasn’t subtle. Overnight he was literally the only thing that would show up in that “for you” thing. Everyone noticed that twitter was forcing musk tweets to the top of the timeline, and anyone with a greater than baseline capacity for pattern recognition than him immediately connected the dots and figured out what he’d done.
I just didn’t realize the reason was even pettier than even we could imagine
Truly, reality is even more pathetic than the theories we come up with as a joke. The billionaire threw a toddler tantrum because the president of the United States got more engagement than he did. And he even deleted the tweet that started this with, I can only assume, tears of impotent rage in his little eyes.
This might genuinely be the most pathetic thing I have ever seen.
Guess that’s the end of the blocking feature...
I feel like the twitter engineers going to be up for another long day tomorrow
Wasn't it only like just a week ago that he was crowing about how he had saved Twitter from bankruptcy?
"trending toward breakeven" or some such nonsense lol
https://www.cnbc.com/2023/02/15/elon-musk-aiming-to-appoint-new-twitter-ceo-by-end-of-2023.html
Another expose on twitter internals:
-Elon is on meth 24/7 and running things like a cartoon caricature of steve jobs, making everyone do 80 hour weeks and firing them for cause if they say the wrong word
-Twitter now has 1 principal engineer (he fired the other one for telling him he’s not popular)
-Elon also suggested banning everyone not from the US or Japan to cut costs and make the whole thing a subscription service
https://www.businessinsider.com/elon-musk-twitter-tesla-crisis-mood-intensity-2023-2
people's accounts are getting all their likes deleted if they dm someone a link
lol why are likes being visible delayed? lonny must have chewed through enough cables to start breaking things in interesting ways
The one time Colbert has been funny since the Colbert Report:
@cspam it will take a lot more than $8 a month for me to unblock him.
