@hackernews@die-partei.social
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had the added pressure of feeling like I was representing my entire gender with my performance.

My manager at the time must have noticed my anxiety around this, and he did a wonderful thing. He made the timing aspect of it super explicit for me. He would do things like give me my next task and then say “try and get this done, if at any point you have spent an hour without making any progress, come and ask for help”. Then I knew how long was too long to spin my wheels on something on my own. Most of the time, I could keep figuring things out on my own, but when I couldn’t I could approach my manager without worrying whether I was bothering him “too soon”.
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