A cautionary tale and warning signs to watch for as a parent/student. This stuff needs to be out in the open.

A Monster in the Classroom - Macleans.ca macleans.ca/longforms/monster-

@marathon0 Yup, charisma is a prerequisite to being a serial abuser. I deflected a favorite teacher who probed my boundaries when I was 10 and was later prosecuted for molesting other kids.

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Wow! Good for you, obviously you have a head on your shoulders and were strong and assertive enough to do so.

@marathon0 I would say that it was more a matter of intuition. We went for a walk off campus(!) and he asked if I could keep a secret. I glibly replied, that no, I couldn't, and then conversation moved on.

Inside my head it felt like someone not-me had taken the controls and given that answer, and I felt frustrated because I was then curious as to what the secret would have been.

Six years after that he was arrested, and it was maybe another ten years before I spotted what that was.

I have since experienced that level of dissociation during a bicycle accident - I was in the air and time slowed down, and another part of me said "we got this" and took control and arranged the landing.

I do not in ordinary circumstances have obvious signs of DID or interpret my experience as a multiple - if I were supernaturally inclined, I might interpret it as a guardian angel. I currently interpret it simply as being able to act on intuition.

I suspect that backing kids up on consent based boundaries, starting young is helpful, but while I had caring and attentive parents, I didn't get that - eg I was told to hug and kiss relatives as a child.

As an adult I'm inclined to state boundaries and be briskly decisive in mundane situations in a way that my mother finds quite rude. I think I learned that experimentally, but I wasn't taught it.

My own children have been told that obedience to teachers has limits, and that if a situation is dangerous, they should do what they think is best without worrying about authority/punishment - but I think permission to disobey is only a piece of the picture.

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