Years ago on Slashdot, someone stopped an argument-verging-on-flamewar by asking, "What is your expected outcome from continuing this discussion?" The other person said, "You know, I have no idea," and the thread ended.

I think about that a lot. There are all kinds of tests for what kinds of posts and comments you're about to write. "Is it true, is it useful, is it kind?" is a useful heuristic, but it doesn't cover all the possibilities. Most of the time, I'd like anything I post to check at least one of those boxes. Two is desirable, and all three is excellent. Still this leaves a lot of wiggle room.

"What do I expect?" covers *everything*, if you stop to think and give yourself an honest answer. Of course, if you're looking for a fight, it's easy to write something which meets that expectation! But if you're not—I'm not, most of the time, and neither are the people whose posts I want to read—asking this question and following it through can save everyone a lot of grief.

This is an ideal. I don't always live up to it. The closer I come, though, the happier and saner I am. For what it's worth, and fully aware of my own partial hypocrisy, I recommend keeping it in mind.