I keep hearing conservatives say they want to “own the libs.”

Lib ownership may seem attractive, but once you own a lib, you have to care for it. Libs need constant feeding and watering, and must be taken for walks twice a day. A lib can live seventy years or more; owning one is a lifetime commitment.

I'm worried that many conservatives just aren't up to the responsibility.

Remember: “A lib is for life, not just for Christmas.” Think hard before getting one for YOUR young conservative.