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Censoring taboo language with the wrong number of asterisks is a f******ing brilliant idea.

RT @kthorning@twitter.com
@djolder@twitter.com I just found out that food pantries and homeless shelters love those cloth tote bags. Their clients prefer them to the plastic bags they usually have to use, the straps of which dig into your hands. I gave them ALL my tote bags and they were so glad to get them.

After our first session, we question the decision to launch @ingress@twitter.com at the beginning of winter.

RT @amadcartoonist@twitter.com
I mean, credit to Doctor Doom, FOOLS is a gender neutral way to address an entire room.

The title case in the "Thames Murders" box from Sherlock Holmes Consulting Detective was a nice, juicy one.

RT @cassiejokes@twitter.com
Cat: I caught this for you *drops dead mouse*

Me, lying: omg thank you I love it

Cat: eat it

Me: but-

Cat: look me in the eyes and eat it

Overheard: "We should get some kind of ice cream novelty treat out of spite."

At grocery store: "Let's get the healthy kind. That way neither one of us likes it."

That's the third time we've tried to go out to dinner and arrived to find the place had gone out of business.

Want a calmer, advertising-free social media experience? joinmastodon.org/ Now with over 1.7 million users. I'm @peterdrake.

RT @jessemudrick@twitter.com
Oklahoma quarter: bird flying over flowers
Oklahoma quarter rotated: buff-ass bird-man wearing tight fringed jeans strutting in a meadow

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