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Broke: You said "literally" when you meant "figuratively".

Woke: People have been using "literally" to mean "very" for centuries.

Bespoke: Counter-misusing "figuratively".

"I figuratively just ate three burritos."

RT @qikipedia@twitter.com
The author Patricia Highsmith once smuggled 100 snails and a head of lettuce into a literary party in her handbag so she had someone to talk to.
(Image: Open Media Ltd)

RT @Emma_Lovato_@twitter.com
did you know...that if you do your reading before class, the lecture makes more sense???

RT @wispdx@twitter.com
📢 Sponsor Shout Out! 📢
@lewisandclark@twitter.com College is a new sponsor of our Mixer this year! They sponsored tickets for students and faculty to attend!
Thanks for supporting WIS PDX!

RT @mondomascots@twitter.com
Toilet-Kun, a toilet that has achieved sentience, teaches people in Yokohama City about bathroom procedures after disasters.

W local phone: *keeps me on hold for half an hour*

Me: *gives up*

W message to my phone in Oregon: Your order is ready for pickup ... in Manhattan.

Sigh.

Maybe I'm just not tech savvy enough to use their website, being just LITERALLY A COMPUTER SCIENCE PROFESSOR. /3

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W website: Our records do not show Violet as a pet.

Me: *invokes online help chat*

W chat: We'll send out that prescription. Call this number to get your account straightened out.

W corporate phone: Oh, you need to talk to the local pharmacy. I'll transfer you. 2/

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Me: Orders Violet's meds through the @Walgreens@twitter.com website.

W: The vet says you aren't their patient.

Me: You filled this one before.

W: Oh, you submitted it under your name. You have to give the dog's name.

*two weeks later*

Me: *tries to add dog's name to account* 1/

An @nbcsnl@twitter.com sketch where Werner Herzog declares a series of increasingly banal professions to be "complicated".

RT @cynthiablee@twitter.com
Sing it with me now: 🎶A software system that can only sort data along axses of the feature set you handed it is called a database, not ML. 🎶

The **entire purpose** of ML is to be smart enough to identify and sort on latent features. twitter.com/math_rachel/status

I did it! After years, I finally collected every ! Thanks to everyone who helped out and let me know if you need me to help get you over the finish line. @vintagepix@twitter.com @MartAdams66@twitter.com @kattmoon88@twitter.com

That's a midi-chlorian.

What?

WHAT.
---
RT @randyhoyt@twitter.com
That's a Mandatory DeLorean. A Mandalorian is the "powerhouse" of the cell that handles cellular respiration. twitter.com/elizhargrave/statu
twitter.com/randyhoyt/status/1

The Star Wars Holiday Special is conspicuously missing from @disneyplus@twitter.com.

I detest this sort of activity in real life and in games. I want to make decisions that are meaningful (if only in terms of game outcome), not do something that can and should be automated.

Dammit, now I have to go EAT so I don't DIE.
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RT @metasynthie@twitter.com
Ahh but are “boring tasks” even better when pursued as an intrinsic good rather than for productive or necessary ends? See also “what am I knitting? A shapeless blob with …
twitter.com/metasynthie/status

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