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RT @HenpeckedHal@twitter.com
My 3 year old asked how long he had to wait until he could stop listening to me. I told him he had to listen to me for the rest of his life. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "I'll listen to you for the rest of YOUR life." Toddlers are cold-blooded, man.

RT @NateLarsenKBOI@twitter.com
MOVIE NIGHT FAIL: A movie night under the stars took a turn in Denver, Colorado on Saturday. Air mattresses laid out for ticket holders blew away in a strong wind. According to Robb Manes, who shot the video, the blow-up beds were on the loose for about 30 minutes. 😂

Celebrating 25 years married to @htdrake@twitter.com. We make a good team.

RT @sadanduseless@twitter.com
Every animal seems to like hanging out with this friendly creature. Even crocodiles! sadanduseless.com/friendly-cap

I've realized that my wife and I both have a sort of higher-level OCD, where we become VERY STRESSED if we can't solve a problem.

Fantastic news: there is NOT a burn ban on this year, so our New Student Orientation show will feature ACTUAL FIRE! On top of that, we'll have guest routines by TWO former club presidents.

RT @qikipedia@twitter.com
There is a statue of a large poo in Chicago that acts as a monument to pet dogs, as well as a reminder to pick up after them. It’s engraved with the title ‘Shit Fountain’. (Image: Brandie Heinel)

RT @NationaIly@twitter.com
You should be able to twist the bottom of the pringles can to bring the chips to the top like a chapstick

RT @Kpaxs@twitter.com
Still the simple best explanation of what machine learning is compared to classical programming.

RT @minhtngo@twitter.com
Wow. Defying a police ban, a sea of more than 1.7 million -- 1 in 4 residents of Hong Kong -- marched peacefully in the rain to demand democracy & to protest against police brutality.



RT @gnuman1979@twitter.com
The Oscar for best death or dying by a duck goes to.

Red leaf lettuce is simply green leaf lettuce that is starting to go bad. Same story with "French" vanilla ice cream.

The plural of zucchini is zucchinii. (Boy, did autocorrect not want me to make that joke.)

You're here to learn, not to prove that you already know everything. Ask questions.
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RT @StaceyJSpiehler@twitter.com
Please quote tweet this with your best advice for someone starting their freshman year of college on Monday.
twitter.com/StaceyJSpiehler/st

RT @RadishHarmers@twitter.com
The average human spends nearly 4% of their lifetime being Indonesian.

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