At least one hosting provider (digital ocean) offers a turnkey mastodon instance that can be fired up on its own servers. What'd be nice would be a KVM disk image that can be started on on *any* hosting provider: start it up, set a few parameters in a single config file, and you're off and running.

I'm competent to make such a thing, but if someone's beat me to it let me know, because I'm also lazy.

(I know there are docker images. Not the same thing.)