Dаn̈ıel Раršlow 🥧 @pieist@social.cleverlibre.org

When did the Babylon Bee acquire The Onion?

https://www.theonion.com/zelensky-grabs-whatever-office-supplies-he-can-get-hand-1850861718?rev=1695322232994&utm_campaign=The+Onion&utm_content=1695329101

#Ukraine

@casseagull
"I once asked Rupert Murdoch why he was so opposed to the European Union. ‘That’s easy,’ he replied. ‘When I go into Downing Street they do what I say; when I go to Brussels they take no notice.'" -- Robert Hilton reporting in the Evening Standard

@OccuWorld Oh look, clickbait.

@dustcircle That was a lot of words to push the stale, long-abandoned Russian "we were provoked" line. Muting you.

@ottocrat Unfortunately I bought the EV equivalent of Betamax and nobody sells left-handed electrons

@MessagingMatters @anneapplebaum

They get their asses thoroughly beat but not before a completely unnecessary amount of gratuitous murder and destruction occurs which we totally could have prevented.

@glynmoody @sjvn I was 15 and taking a computing short summer course at the state university. Thankfully by the time I enrolled punch-cards were out and I got to study groovy stuff like Pascal

@sjvn @glynmoody Once saw one go in an elevator, which not only compounded the awkwardness of gathering them up but because it happened on the way through the opened door, one or two cards slid into the gap and went down the shaft, which added "find and recreate missing instructions" to the re-sorting problem.

@ct_bergstrom Or perhaps Lyft needs to understand that a 2pm reservation doesn't mean they dispatch a driver at 2pm, but that they work backwards from 2pm and dispatch a driver to arrive then, with a comfortable margin.

@ct_bergstrom Sounds like Lyft needs to instill an understanding in its drivers that "reserved" means you proactively figure out when you need to be there, and look at the traffic beforehand.

@openculture All those tourists propping it up for photos?

To put it another way, it's absurd to try to re-terraform the Earth while still continuing to venusform it with all our might.

@BassisJeremy

Quite. It's absurd to try to terraform Earth. It started out terraformed, by definition. We need to stop DE-terraforming it.

@ct_bergstrom Someone invented a 3D printer you could load with your own excrement and operate in the freezer.

What are all these complaints I keep hearing about a culture of imp unity? I think imps should have united a long time ago. Strength in numbers and all that.

Like Rupert Murdoch, I'm a great believer that journalism should be "#FairAndBalanced". Which is why I think when someone interviews Donald Trump, they should then walk around to his backside and interview that end of him as well. Then readers/viewers can decide for themselves which is more sane, rational, articulate and in touch with the facts.

@BashStKid

Well the only reasonable response to the tortoise story is "you tell me, this is your story, I'm just the listener". I mean it must be a test for your ability to detect when someone is a wanker and should be side-eyed the whole time.