Dаn̈ıel Раršlow 🥧 @pieist@social.cleverlibre.org

@Sundae_Gurl You act like "Investigating Biden's Laptop" isn't a full legislative program

@opendna @rubenbolling Kind of like how Paramount+ is pretty much all about plundering the Star Trek canon.

"His Dank Materials" would be a good name for a cannabis shop

@PARLEY Did they all do it for similar or comparable reasons?

If mastodon users were as nerdy as everyone claims, they'd number the first post in a thread as "0/"

@NinaBernstein1 When you appreciate the extent to which grasses have conquered the world, it's remarkable to realize that they too didn't exist until the late Cretaceous. Imagine a world full of life with no grasses or flowering plants.

@DNA @lauren Oh sure, have you any idea what it costs to feed the internet for a day? And don't get me started on its unwillingness to pick up after itself.

@lauren And they NEVER accept the potato emoji 🥔

@Jam_Man_A_Lam By god you've cracked it, man!

Do we go to the next level now, or does the universe just end?

Hey, I just blocked my first crank with "truth" in his handle. The twittiots are starting to turn up in numbers now...

@Sundae_Gurl If the past tense of wind (as of, e.g., a wristwatch) is "wound", which isn't the past tense of mind "mound"?

Hey I know let's just make a wall out of shipping containers on #Ukraine's Eastern border

I wonder what percentage of those who now decry sending support the defense of #Ukraine would feel the same if it were being invaded by Muslims, Mexicans, or just anyone brown?

@Knitapeace @lauren Shh! Imagine what wlll happen to the global economy once people realize you can create any device you want by writing it in crayon on the side of a box!

@WarnerCrocker @lauren Ew. Sounds very unsanitary.

@neoczo @shaman In North America they're always in corn husks instead.

@lauren A dizzying prospect

@OliverNoble @PaulSchleifer But how many would be thrilled by Peter Mandelson turning into a fruit picker or road sweeper?

By my faultlessly and unimpeachably scientific process I've determined that 87% of people who ask "why are we sending billions to #Ukraine when [some number of] Americans lack [something]?" would decry it as Filthy unAmerican #Socialism if you ever proposed that the government give [something] to [some number of Americans].

Y'know what really sucks? When you're walking along some wooded country lane, and you come to a nice village, and then some white-bearded elder with an unfortunate touch of divine insight sees you, points a trembling, bony finger and cries out

"Evil! Evil! Destroy it! Destrooooy iiiiit!"

And then all the villagers come after you with pitchforks and firebrands and send you back to the pit of hell from whence you came.

I hate it when that happens.