@freemo
I joined qoto earlier this year. Qoto was on the list of recommended instances.
I haven't seen one term being used: virtue signaling. I think it's possible that once a name has become unpalatable in a group--especially with the aire of "you're with us or against us"--it's hard to pull out of that. Personally, I don't see what the big deal is; it seems like a misunderstanding around the term "free speech", which for some includes hate speech, causing others to think qoto supports that.