天空вℓσи∂ [Unemployed edition] @skyblond@social.cleverlibre.org

@fatelab 塔罗牌 最近找到一份可以接受的工作

@fatelab 算卦 最近找到一份可以接受的工作

@fatelab 求签 最近找到一份可以接受的工作

我还说要科学算命，但科学说我死定了（

坏了，一说到我要找工作，量子力学都不行了

@fatelab 算卦 量子 最近找到一份可以接受的工作

I like this pic. It said: If life closes the door on you, then you open it again. That's "doors". And that's what they're for.

In case you're worrying (thank you!), I won't commit suicide. It's going to be hurt, and I'm VERY afraid of pain. But listening to an audio book while riding on a busy road, I got distracted several times and almost crashed into someone's car. You can't predict accidents, so I think it would be better to find someone to keep managing my data, which partially represented my life. Also sending an update of me, in case someone is wondering why this guy didn't post a toot for a long time (if there is anyone who cares).

I don't fear death, and I do want to enjoy my life. Unlike my parent, who will be triggered if I talk about death, I mean, people eventually die, why not tell your last wishes to others before you don't have the chance anymore? But it seems like this does scared my friend.😂

I fixed my bike today. I find out riding is helpful when fighting with anxiety.

The front tire keeps leaking, and I replace it, only found out the leaking point is on the inner side. The rim strip has no visible and touchable damage, it shouldn't poke a hole in the inner tire. But anyway, the new tire is fine and the old tire is fixable (assuming I have the right tool).

Today I rode exclusively in the hutongs (aka the alleyways in Beijing). A random thought sneaks through my brain, suggesting I feel like a dementor (yeah, I was listening to Harry Potter during the ride. Specifically, the Prisoner of Azkaban), scraping others' happiness only to make myself feel better. And then post my negative thoughts on the internet and ruining someone else's day (sorry).

Anyway, hutong gives me a unique feeling about life. It's unlike streets, filled with cars and noisy crowds, the people living in hutongs are quiet, peaceful and relax.No matter what happens, people live here for hundreds of years. The fall of the Qing dynasty, the Eight-Nation Alliance invaded Beijing, the Japanese army, the Republican era, the establishment of the PRC, the Cultural Revolution, the three years of natural calamities (the Great Leap Forward), etc. A lot of things happened there. While I am constantly worrying about the current situation, I will be the history, and I was history. I am creating history (despite no one knows every detail about my life, but it does be the past, aka the history).

While I'm getting lost of the constant thinking of my life, this idea gives me some strength. I decided to try another job publishing platform and give it a try.

My friend suggested I should see a doctor, after I left my password to him and told him he will get my laptop and all servers if I died. Maybe he is right, but considering I'm still unemployed with no medical ensureance, maybe next time. LOL

Recently I was being super anxiety about a law approved by the government. This law requires all Android and iOS apps must be approved by the authority before app store, ISP and vendor can distribute, provide internet and include it.

The law is so vague that I assume the worst case is that the vendors have to set a whitelist of package id and/or signature for which app can be granted internet access. Considering the bootloader lock cannot be unlocked (thus no root privilege) and no side-load is allowed (in China, vendors use custom installers that can disabled side-load), I think that will be the worst cast for those who seeking a free internet. It will be much more efficient than the GFW, which works on the transportation layer.

Also, I heard that in some areas, GFW is testing SNI whitelist. If your TLS session's target is not in the whitelist, GFW will cut off your TLS handshake. Not sure about the IP whitelist though. But considering the fact that all domains must be approved by the authority before you can host a website in China, a nation-wide SNI whitelist is not impractical.

I feel hopeless in this country, yet I have families here, and I can't leave.