condescension
There's no such thing as "too young to understand".
There is:
• "I find it hard to teach somebody who doesn't already get these fundamentals"; and
• "I can't explain this without being hurtful, and you don't have strong coping mechanisms for that"; and
• "Most people pick this up without being explicitly taught it, which you haven't yet".
None of these are to do with age. Being patronising and experienced doesn't give you the right to ignore or overrule others' concerns.
condescension
@wizzwizz4 I like this general approach, but I worry about actual cognitive limitations in sufficiently young children (even beyond the obvious ones like babies). I think the approach is almost surely valid for anyone above 12yo and I suspect the actual age is usually lower, but I'm not very confident in any of this.
condescension
@rudolf @timorl Those cognitive limitations are overrated. You just have to explain things differently; that's all.
Instead of trying to insist to a 9-year-old that they'd develop a particular sexuality when they're older (which might, for that matter, not be true!), you could explain:
• what "wanting to be close to a girl" is like (in an "age-appropriate" manner)
• that most adults feel that way
• that most 9-year-olds don't feel that way
• that adults used to be 9.
1/2
condescension
@rudolf @timorl If the 9-year-old continues to insist that girls are icky, that's not a lack of understanding. It's a refutation, or rejection, of the idea that your description applies to them.
That's an absolutely okay thing to do. It's a perfectly normal self-identification behaviour, for people of any age. Trying to insist that no, they *will* want to be close to a girl… Not okay.
2/2
P.S.: By "age-appropriate", I mean wrt power dynamics, consent, etc.; age isn't special.
condescension
@wizzwizz4 @timorl
You can't explain what hormones do. You need to experience it.
Without experience many things can't be explained.
condescension
@rudolf @timorl You most certainly can explain what hormones do. There have been books written on the subject.
> Without experience many things can't be explained.
That's what poetry, fiction and art is for. I have a decent understanding of many things that I have never experienced, and will never experience.
Yes, experience is a *better* explanation, in many cases – but it's not the only possible one.
condescension
@timorl @wizzwizz4
When I was 9 years old there was no way you could explain to me that I would ever want to be close to a girl :)