Log entry # 864:

I've almost succeeded in this long endeavour of perfecting the removing of pants, underwear, shoes, and socks all in one motion. The underwear trials went swimmingly, as I had hoped they would. The socks seem to be the problematic area, as attested to by the failure by ONE SOCK in this evenings attempt.

I shall soldier on and keep you posted. If you don't hear from me, I will have succeeded and likely ascended bodily into a higher plane of existence. Excelsior!