The current state of printers, man... I just want to print one fxxxxxx sheet of paper.

I can't find the printer on my network.
The printer is offline.
The printer's driver is outdated.
The printer "requires" an unholy amount of bloatware, 5+ separate applications, 3 of which occupy my taskbar.
I need to sign into a HP account to see my current printer jobs.
The printer software shows no jobs in progress.
On and on and on.