Dear Pat,

Thank you for applying for the Sr. Engineer position. I must say your resume really had all of us rolling on the floor. I mean, we were in tears. How on Earth do you think you’d even come close to qualifying for this position? I mean, you couldn’t be a pimple on an engineer’s ass.

Needless to say, we used your resume to blot up coffee spills in the lunch room.

Good luck – you’ll need it.

Regards,

Lillian Gish
Systems Director
Amalgamated Mediocre Engineering