In my professional circles (I'm a software engineer) I have met plenty of people who were either extremely shy, misanthropes, or on the (autistic) spectrum.
Often I assumed those types were churls, selfish, arrogant, and/or ill-mannered — and as such I tended feel looked down on, and to keep interaction to a minimum.
More recently I have understood that sometimes (often?) it's a condition, something they _suffer_, and not a conscious decision about how to be in the world. And so I grew more sympathetic and patient with some of them.
And yet, I feel it frustrating that genuine boors and arrogant people often can be mistaken with autistic people, and it's difficult to tell. I don't want to be kind to someone who assumes I'm dumb, or who despises chatting with me. But I want to support autistic people.
